My baby girl is getting so big. She turned 3 years old last month and it seems like she keeps hitting major mile stones one right after the other. In the last few months she has outgrown her high chair, graduated to a toddler bed, and now she is using the potty like a big girl!!
We are so proud of her success and accomplishments. I realize these are all very normal parts of growing up and may seem small, but for a little girl, they are huge (and to her mamma, they feel like she just climbed Mount Everest)!!
I started thinking about it thought and wonder… at what point do we stop celebrating life? I think as we get older, we tend to treat smaller accomplishments as if they are no big deal. What would happen if we kept right on celebrating the small victories in life? We start worrying so much about the bigger things in life, that we overlook the small things.
These last few months have encouraged me to keep on celebrating the small things. When I check something off my to do list… I want to take a minute to do a little happy dance! When I wake up in the morning and everyone makes it out the door on time, I want to take a minute to be proud of myself and my family for that accomplishment. Let’s keep it real… some mornings that is my Mount Everest!!
Life is worth celebrating!! Leave me a comment to tell me how what small victories you are celebrating this week. If you aren’t celebrating anything, then tell me what you could be celebrating if you found Joy in the small accomplishments of your week. I want to hear from you.
The calendar has rolled over to the new year. A lot of us spent the last night of the year staying up late with friends or family. Some of us may have just gone on to bed and not stayed up (no shame in that game friend). A lot of us probably spent the last several days of 2018 trying to decide what our New Years Resolutions would be for 2019. Did you make any? If so, think of what they were while reading the rest of this post.
Resolutions are inherently good things. They encourage us to look at our lives and decide what we need to change or what we need to do a little better than we have in the past. The real problem with resolutions is how we view them and how we determine whether or not we are living up to them.
Here are 5 tips to help you have a healthy view of your resolutions and to help you end 2019 feeling proud of yourself for growing and making healthy changes throughout the year.
1. Create an Action Plan to go along with your resolutions. Did you resolve to lose weight? Break that goal down into smaller more manageable steps like drinking more water, increasing exercise, cooking at home more often, learning to cook healthier foods, tracking my progress. If you don’t have a plan in place or work to create one you will likely find yourself a few days into the year deciding to give up because you haven’t dropped all the pounds you wanted to in the first week or because you messed up one day and think, “why should I even bother”. You need a plan to follow to help you get there!!
2. Implement Your Action Plan Step By Step. It is very overwhelming to start a new year and do 5 or 6 things new and different than you have ever done before all at one time. Instead, try pacing yourself and making small changes each week. Once you make one change and get into a routine, then you can begin to add something else. You will see progress, avoid being completely overwhelmed, and gain belief in yourself if you do it little by little instead of all at one time.
3. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to adjust to each step of your action plan. Rome wasn’t built in a day and changing habits and lifestyles will not happen overnight. Often times we make a resolution and we beat ourselves up when we haven’t lived up to it in it’s entirety by January 5th. Give yourself TIME!!! We used to hear that it takes 21 days to create a habit, but new research is suggesting that it actually may take an average of 66 days! Extend GRACE to YOURSELF. Give yourself room to fail. That isn’t saying that you expect to fail or that you won’t meet your goal, it is just allowing yourself to have a set back without beating yourself up. If you have a set back, just start again, but don’t quit! I don’t believe messing up is failing. I believe the only way that you fail is if you stop trying all together.
4. Find an Accountability Partner. Buddy up with someone else who wants to accomplish the same goals as you this year and RUN WITH THEM!! This could be a friend of family member that you see every week or it could be a Facebook friend that you have never met in person but who you connect with online. Encourage one another along the way. Your accountability partner’s job will not be to point fingers at you when you fall, but to encourage you to get back up, brush yourself off, and keep going! Same for you to them. Be a friend, be an encourager, be for them what you want them to be for you. Cheer each other on and celebrate every victory no matter how small!!
5. Celebrate Your Victories throughout the year, but DO NOT label your resolution a success or failure until the END of the year. Realize that keeping a resolution does not mean changing overnight and achieving it by the end of January. It means working throughout the year to make the changes you need to in order to live a better life throughout the year and to end the year closer to your goal than you started. You will have good days and you will have bad days. That is OK!! That means you are human (just like me). Expect some challenging days. Expect some rough patches; live them, experience them, grow from them, and then get back at it!!
We can do this ya’ll!! No matter what your resolutions are, you can achieve them this year!! If you have a big goal and you need help creating an action plan, send me a message. I would be happy to help you get started!!
Happy New Year friends!! This will be the BEST YEAR YET!!!
September is National Suicide Prevention Month so I wanted to write something this month that may actually help someone. Not everyone who suffers from depression is suicidal, but depression is such a contributing factor to those who actually are, that I wanted to share some thoughts with you. This article is not directed at those who suffer from depression, but it is directed at those who live and love with someone who does.
Do you have a friend or family member who lives with Depression? When they are in the midst of some of their darkest moments, what do you say to them? Well-meaning folks sometimes say things that are not at all helpful. Sometimes, even though they don’t mean to, they end up hurting someone even more instead of helping. I could write a whole different post about what NOT to say, but I think I’ll save that for another day. In my experience, only a few things actually make a difference and may help someone to start feeling better.
1. “I see you and you are not invisible”
This can be said through words or actions. Sometimes a silent action is far more powerful. One of my favorite things to do when I can’t shake depression is to disappear from as much as I can. I still have to get up and go to work, but I might not leave my office as many times during the day as normal. If something is happening after work or on the weekends, I often times just don’t go. If you miss seeing someone that you normally see at a specific place, reach out to them. Let them know that you missed seeing them. Don’t relay this message through a family member or another friend (Can you repeat that for those in the back please).If you are somewhere and you think to yourself, “I wonder where _____________ is at”… text or call them personally and let them know you missed seeing them. Let them know that their presence is important to you. Not in a way that says, “why didn’t you come”… but in a way that says, “I really miss you when you are not here”.
2. “You are not alone, I’m here for you and I am not leaving”
Hear me loud and clear on this… do NOT confuse this one with “I understand”. Unless you really do understand struggling with Depression, don’t say that. Instead, let them know that even if you don’t understand, even if you don’t have all the answers or know what to say, that you will still be there for them. It doesn’t really matter if you understands the details, it only matters if you show compassion and understanding. Often times a person’s greatest fear is that the one person who is there for them won’t be for very long. Please reassure them that you are there to stay! There is so much to be said for just sitting quietly with someone in their darkest moments, present and available, and ready to love them through. This could be the difference between them being a survivor or being a statistic.
3. “You matter to me and I love you”
When depression is rearing its ugly head, one of the things it likes to say is “you don’t matter and no one loves you or cares about what happens to you”. That may not be true, but to a person suffering, it is very likely what they are hearing inside their mind. It doesn’t take long before they start speaking it out of their mouths and believe it as truth. Please remind them that they do matter and that they are loved. It doesn’t have to be in a big ceremonious announcement, just a personal and genuine one.
4. “I’m here if you want to talk”
Another prevalent thought that depression brings with it is that no one cares. Let your friends and family members know that you do care and you are ready and willing to listen without judgment to their feelings and emotions. Here’s the crazy thing about feelings and emotions… what we feel isn’t always realty… however, it doesn’t make the feelings any less real. Even if the messages our feelings are feeding us are false, the fact that we are feeling them is so incredibly real and having someone to just listen, without judgment, or a need to try and “fix” them can be an incredible relief.
5. “What can I do to help”
A word of caution, if you don’t mean to follow through, don’t say this one. However, if you genuinely want to help, ask them how you can. If you know that their house is a mess and their laundry pile has reached the ceiling (because they have been too depressed to actually do any housework) offer to come and help them get something done around the house. If they are isolating themselves, ask them if you can come over and binge watch some Netflix with them. Maybe they have kids and they honestly just need a nap without being woken up 500 times in the process. Take their kids to the park and let them nap! Figure out what it is that your loved one needs and offer it, then follow through!!
The basic idea here is to love and care for people who are suffering from depression. It isn’t an easy road to walk. It’s complicated. It’s messy. It isn’t for the faint of heart. But our loved ones are worth it. Our friends are worth it. Their lives are worth the effort.
If you personally suffer from depression or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone and ask for help. If you don’t feel like you have anyone to reach out to, I know a great Celebrate Recovery in the Central Arkansas Area that may be a great place to start. If you live in another area, I’d love to help you find one near you if you don’t know how to. I mean it! Leave a comment here or send me a Facebook message.
Can we talk for a minute about toddlers? Well, kids in general, but I’m specifically thinking about my toddler. Why is it that they are so good at school or daycare, but they come home and are a completely different child? I have to be honest some days that really bothers me! She can spend 10 hours with someone else being so sweet and kind and then come home and act like she doesn’t even know how to be sweet and kind. It’s like she holds all of her tantrums in until she is with me and then lets them all out at the same time!
A lot of times I get frustrated that the few hours we get to spend with her a day are usually full of drama! Crying, screaming, tantrums… Sometimes I honestly feel like the only thing I get to do with her is tell her “no” and change her wet and dirty pull ups because she STILL doesn’t care if she goes to the potty or not.
I saw this Facebook post yesterday that made me stop and take a deep breath!! Maybe it isn’t that she doesn’t like me or just decides to act a fool when she gets home. Maybe her tantrums and screaming and fighting everything we try to do all night (and morning) long isn’t even about her “Just being two and showing off those terrible two’s”.
Here’s what the post said:
This is why children are 800% worse when their Mothers are around:
Because YOU, mama, are their safe place. YOU are the place they can come to with all of their problems. If you can’t make something better… well, who else can?
YOU, dear mama, are a garbage disposal of unpleasant feelings and emotions.
If a child has been holding it together all day, in an unpleasant situation, the second they see you, they know it’s time they can finally let go.
Could it be that what I typically dread and most days wish I could just avoid (the tantrums, not my toddler)… could it be that she is actually giving me the highest honor she possibly could? She is learning to navigate life and all the feelings and emotions that come with it, and maybe, just maybe, she feels safe enough at home to allow us to be the ones to help her navigate this thing called growing up?
Or maybe I’m delusional and she is playing us like a fiddle? I don’t really know the answer to that… I never really do!
One thing I do know… I really do LOVE that kid… tantrums and all!!!
Us adults aren’t the only people trying to navigate life! My prayer today is that I will be able to see my kids journey for what it is!! See the truth and reality of their struggles and that our home will ALWAYS be their safe place, even when they are grown.
Thanks for joining me on this road trip!! Traveling with friends is always more fun!!
God has given me a desire to write. I used to write a lot more than I do now, but that is going to change! I am going to find time to follow God’s calling in my life. He has put a PROJECT in my heart. It won’t be quick, it won’t be easy, it won’t be painless… but with His help and your support, I believe it will come to fruition!
So thank you!! Thank you for joining me! Buckle up, join the ride, and try to keep up!! In all seriousness, there is a link on the side of the page to my Facebook Page! Go give it a like so you can follow my journey and make sure you don’t miss something!!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
My Journey 